Bad

This definitly marks a bad night. I've been driving all weekend long and today as well. I went to yoga with my mom's boyfriend and came out of the class relaxed and calm. I get back into the car and drive just as I have been for the past few days.

As we pull in to the garage my moms boyfriend says, "your mom asked if we got into any fights while she was away"

I continued to drive in attempting to park from the first shot. He yells and tells me to do it in three steps. I accidentally let go of the brake and hit a pole. Well that started the ultimate fight, he yelled and yelled.

Isn't it called an accident because it wasn't done on purpose. I had no intention of doing that nor was I trying to ignore what he said about three steps. I was just trying to park. Now I'm either getting the silent treatment or the yelling treatment.

Somebody do me a favor and kill me now.

Progress

Why do we have to be notified of our failiure, as if I didn't know already.
Grades are slipping no matter what I do, the ooze out of my hands like a wet bar of soap. Its almost like its happening to me on purpose. What did I do wrong...besides not doing my work.  I feel as if time is going by so fast and I'm chasing it around. It won't slow down, but I keep stopping to breathe along the way. I need breathing room, I want my air.

There is so much pressure on me. I just want to breathe, that's all, breathe.

I Haven't...

I haven't written in a long time.
I feel as if I have no motivation. Nothing pushing me to my fullest potential, to go the extra mile.
I hope that as soon as SATs are over I will slowly rebuild life again.
HELP