I feel as if I am being buried alive. Buried by school, assignments, and tests. You name it, I'm immersed in it. A 56% on a Math test defines the epitome of "something is wrong here".
By not turning in my work I feel as if I am lying to my parents and teachers, but the reality is, I'm lying to MYSELF. How could I have led myself down a lying path? Why did I never stop and question myself whether what I was doing was wrong. I guess I'm just stubborn. I've admitted the fact but how do I turn myself around?
That's just only one of my problems.... I don't understand how pain is relieving but I guess that's what works for me. Another, how am I supposed to chose between spending time with my dad or doing well in school. Yeah, my dad isn't the best guy in the world and it sure seems like he doesn't care to much about me, but there is something inside of me that says I should spend time with him. School or Dad, is it even possible to make a right decision?
I need a sign, something. I hope you, up there where everything seems perfect, are listening. Please help, because I know I won't be able to get out of this alone.
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